confidence issues

Well, blogging every week didn't work.. back to once a month. Or rather just whenever I feel like it. (I'll definitely pick up once school ends!)

Last month's post was a truly sincere and profound post, where I came to terms with where I am with life and the direction I'm taking. It's felt like a huge burden has been lifted, knowing that the pressure of success is not as important to my future aspirations as I had perceived it to be in the past two years.

I'm also starting to understand that I have huge confidence issues. For the past year and a half, I've periodically felt depressed at my utter uselessness and inability to succeed. On Saturday, my sister really kicked me hard to pursue an internship; she helped me to realize just how poor of a job I was doing. I'm pretty envious of her ability to win at life, and I really do think it has to do with attitude. Then, yesterday I met up with Jason at his apartment for the first time in years and learned about his passions in life (which are surprisingly similar to mine). The big difference though is that he seems to have the will to succeed it--I can really picture him going out into the world and making a difference.

I guess what it comes down to is desperation and motivation. I can't let my insecurities get in the way of my aspirations; I just need to go out and do it, no matter what others think of me. I simply won't allow myself to get stuck and backslide rather than move forward.