peace at last, for a while

apparently after hell week comes a time of week-long peace. i don't understand why everything was crammed into that one week, but this week sure was tame. and of course, i returned back to my old, daily routines. except for one thing: i have a tendency to not wake up and skip physics and doc now. well, at least i've forced myself to get back on track with doc, but physics is just too early.. hmm i wonder what i can do.

in other news, i finally got caught for skipping work. not that i didn't see it coming--it was bound to happen sometime--but i sure hit me a lot harder than i thought it would. oh yeah, i know why. cause i realized that i don't have integrity and that i'm really a coward who doesn't want to face consequences. i lied about studying for a nonexistent midterm to make it seem less severe. a one time thing. yet, i can't help but wonder if they suspect my chronic skipping tendencies.

i guess i've always justified by saying stuff like i work harder and more efficiently than the others (true statement), and i really don't need this job so badly that i would mind being fired. well, i guess i do, much more than i thought, because 1) i want to finish with a recommendation letter and 2) i want to maintain a good, friendly relationship with the staff there. actually, it's mostly reason number two--mainly for keeping my own soul intact. i can't bear the thought of ending relationships with good people in a sour way. that's happened before, and i never want it to happen again.

well, the first mistake is always a warning. perhaps a seed of distrust. that just means that i'll have to work super hard to earn it back--on time/early and extended hours just like how i did it before during winter quarter.

today is the start of memorial weekend. whenever i'm at home, i feel extremely lazy and totally lose the will/drive to work. sleep/tv/eat is okay. church is okay. but study? impossible. but! this weekend i will have to do the impossible if i am to survive my finals. just keep looking ahead at the end--summer is almost here! (albeit summer school)

oh, one last note. huge recommendation for the anime airing this season called angel beats! (yes, the exclamation mark is part of the name). it has great comedy that will keep you laughing the entire way though, and an incredible and mysterious storyline that keeps getting better as it develops. very much my type of anime; it switches between moods swiftly and keeps you on your toes. not to mention the artwork is a definite A+, very similar to other works by key. if you like something emotional, out-of-the-ordinary, funny, dramatic, visually-stunning... give it a try and tell me what you think, yeah?

hell week

a quarter. a whole freaking quarter. i say quarter cause i've lost track of what week i'm on. i just know the end is near, and couldn't come sooner. every day is killing me faster. who knew that college would be as devastating as high school life was? my confidence shattered, my youth lost, my life expended.

i haven't updated in an extraordinarily long time, against my goals to update multiple times per week. i just can't seem to live up to my own expectations.

this week is what i call "hell week." i knew what was coming, really, and all i could do was brace for impact. now i'm in the midst of it. chem and phys lab report due thurs. physics quiz due fri. doc paper due mon. another chem lab report due next tues.

and all i've done is sixteen pages of an endless report not worth my time. i really need to step it up somehow. God help me through the next 24hrs x 7d.