arms open wide

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

gun regulation please

I wrote this a while ago: might as well post it now or never.

Gun control is something that I’ve switched stances on during my lifetime. As an idealist, it’s wonderful to proclaim guns as a necessary tool to protect our individuality and a great sport for hunting. We need guns to protect us from an oppressive government; that’s precisely why the Founding Fathers put in the Second Amendment. Oh, and it’s a great way to protect yourself. Think for a second: if everyone carried a gun, then homicide would logically not be such a big issue. After all, once one person opens fire, then others would immediately shoot him back, preventing a homicidal rampage, right?

Wrong. Very smart statisticians have made it clear that having a gun in your home makes you much more likely to be shot – by accident, suicide or homicide (I wouldn’t read this if I were you, but here’s my source: http://islandia.law.yale.edu/ayres/Ayres_Donohue_article.pdf). Any logical thinker not swayed by excessive patriotism and affinity to the gun culture will realize that the Second Amendment is outdated: to prevent a dictatorship from when the country was still young. China is a place I’d like to cite as being a country with a strong police presence and extensive gun control – and yet you will almost never hear about gun violence. Sure, there are a few exceptional cases here and there, but nothing remotely close to the amount US has (and it’s not because of media censorship). We criticize China as a tyrant to its people, but in exchange for what you Americans call “freedom,” its government actually works to protect its people.

Sure, people like to hunt for sport. But it’s hard to justify the use of handguns (especially semi-automatic ones) and extended magazines for any purpose other than to shoot other people. The lack of gun regulation in America is a huge public health concern; just because the swimming pool kills more people annually than guns do doesn’t make it any less of a problem. A gun is still a weapon; don’t you find it strange that police officers can give tickets for a person not wearing a seatbelt or arrest minors for underaged drinking or smoking, and yet can’t ban guns and accessories which often serve no purpose other than for killing?

ignorance is bliss

ecclesiastes 1:18

no productivity

gaooooooo.

i've lost all productivity during the last five days.

not good. not good at all.

sighs.

it also started raining today.

good classes aren't being offered next quarter.

lenses are expensive.

questioning my future career.

starting to sleep later and later each night.

still have no friends.

short post

I've been extensively writing a "public post," so I apologize for writing a super short post today.

Sorry blog.

Briefly a schedule of activities:

Wake 10am. That's actually the latest I've slept in all week. I was quite tired from sleeping late though.

11am-12:30pm ochem lecture. Oh fun stuff.

1.30-5.30pm today was really one of the most unproductive days ever in terms of studying. I spent the entire duration blogging and reading the news today (I didn't even sleep!).

7pm "new years dinner" with homegroup. My roommate and I ended up eating Subway though ahaha. Well, they do have Subways in China.

8-10pm "gospel night" with CCM. I put it in quotes because there wasn't really all that much gospel involved. I was more of an evolution vs. creation/intelligent design lecture. The professor from UK was very knowledgeable and scientific with his points. It wasn't really a friendly lecture to non-science majors though; I wasn't even sure if I could keep up if I weren't taking biochemistry this quarter.

10.30-11.30pm racquetball! This marks the first time I've played racquetball, which is surprisingly similar to tennis (and therefore relatively easy for me to learn). I takes a lot more running and reflexes though. Ah, so fun and tiring. Makes me really really miss playing tennis.

Well, that's it for now.

roommate squabbles

So,

I'm going to keep writing on this blog as if nobody else is reading it (even though I know at least three people know of its existence).

Today, I learned a valuable lessen I highly doubt I'll forget anytime soon.

I've known for a while now that I'm afflicted with the sin of pride. I think I do a good job of hiding it with most people, but anyone that's been with me long enough is bound to sense it sometime or another. It's a terrible trait that I have to keep in check; when I let my guard down, it can often be quite destructive.

Dinner was a disaster. It's rather unfortunate that we'd have guests over to witness my first quarrel with my roommate. He got angry at me for being a bit retarded over the preparation of dinner and I just removed myself from the kitchen while I pouted. Yes, I put up a front in front of our guests to make everything seem okay, but in my heart I was actually rather bitter. I mean, it's not my fault he has a temper.

Sometimes though, it's not about who's fault it is. In fact, it's rarely a matter of fault - pointing fingers only make things more complicated (like in the case of countries). I often find the sin of pride manifesting itself in me whenever I perform something I think I'm knowledgeable in, and in this case: cooking. Retrospectively, I did realize that I had very poor communication and lack of cooking knowledge - but at the time, I simply thought, hey, I cook and clean for this apartment everyday, and I haven't managed to make anything inedible yet.

But during large group, I reflected on my actions. It's not so much about the actual cooking as the attitude I put forth, and that's something I'm not particularly proud of. The same type of pride was present back in high school when I was on a guitar high, when I slowly began to realize my [not quite the word I'm looking for, but I'll use it anyway] superiority complex, an attitude I took on when I saw the technical skills of another player inferior to my own. Nowadays, I seek to develop a heart of worship rather than an arsenal of guitar tricks and skills, and you will almost never find me playing a lone performance, but usually in a spontaneous group jamming session.

Still, I hate apologizing. Since my high school years, I've continually justified blaming others to avoid the oh so dreaded apology. And in this way, I've manage to really piss people off. I guess in some ways it's just that I've had done so much apologizing in my life that it's often difficult to garner a sincere and genuine apology. It's so much easier to just argue and leave. People hate me for that, and I hate myself for that. But relying on pride leaves you with bitterness, and I can't afford to sacrifice my friendships just to fuel my pride.

And all throughout large group, I was very distracted by these thoughts, so much so that I (regretfully) didn't pay much attention to the message given. I knew I had to apologize as soon as possible, and I had every intention to do that (even though I'm very good at acting as though nothing ever happened, which I usually do when I can't willfully justify an apology). I contemplated and formulated exactly where and when I would do this, as I usually do as an intrinsic J. My roommate, however, beat me to the punch by apologizing first, and now we're close again.

I gotta say, I'm incredibly blessed to be able to have a roommate that would care more about his friendships than his pride. I've heard a million bad roommate stories, and my roommate and I have rarely had any problems. We managed to overcome our first "fight" (if you can really call it that). And you know what, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger (well, I guess not cancer).

I got the feeling that my roommate and I will remain good friends even long after graduation.

typical day

Ah, a typical tiring day of classes.

11am-12.30pm organic chemistry -- yay I received my much anticipated midterm back! It's slightly lower than I hoped for, but still good nonetheless. A 59/80 (according to the rumors) puts me at one standard deviation above the class. Of course, compared to my roommate who almost seized the top score, my grade is hardly a reason to celebrate.

1-4pm global health -- seems like a waste of time due to my inability to stay focus and attentive. I'm starting to feel just a bit more confident in my place among my group which has been very disconnected. My contact with one of my group members seems to be alright now (I still haven't spoken directly to the other member in the five weeks of the quarter). Our presentation is in exactly a week, so we really need to get on top of it. Unfortunately, the time we're set to meet conflicts with a peace corps session that I only found out afterwards, and I'm not sure if I can (or have the will power to) change the meeting time.

5.30-6.30pm dinner -- healthiest dinner made this year. I decided to eat very simple: chicken, 2:1 brown/white rice, and salad. Yum.

8-9:30pm homegroup core meeting. Besides the usual logistics, I found it particularly interesting that homegroup would propose a regular homeless ministry. Yesterday, four core members went to the event, and I believe each were touched by the friends out there like I was last quarter. Of course, their proposal will probably actually unfold as a regular event for Soli Deo - unlike when I made out that proposal last quarter. The fact of the matter is that people don't realize just how fun and encouraging it is to go out there; most only hear and give sympathy to the people in the streets, but in reality are probably too scared or apathetic to the idea. It's only when they go out there in person that they truly want to take the time to listen to their stories and truly care for them. That can only happen when groups put up outreach events like this. I highly doubt anyone would think to just do it with no prior experience. Nevertheless, the core that went yesterday spoke about how blessed they were by the homeless there and by how much we have to give rather than spend on ourselves on little commodities like food (again, all of which I've come to realize in the previous quarter).

Oh, the second interesting subject would be Jared's 5D camera that I never noticed until today. That sparked a conversation pointing to YY and his intent on also getting a DSLR. One thing I know about YY is that he is quite an impulsive buyer, and he will very likely end up buying a very expensive camera. He's currently looking at the rebel T2i (which I wouldn't recommend) and the whopping 5D! Yeah, maybe he's found an excellent deal, but for a starter camera, that's a huge hole in the pocket and a risk I wouldn't take. One of the biggest things I've learned this year about photography is that good cameras do not equate to good pictures. Great photographers are artists. People with good cameras are simply collectors. They don't always correlate, and it would be a huge shame to invest so much money into something that doesn't last long term.